reverse thinking: from NSA to BND

How about a little thought experiment:

Gerhard Bauden, an encryption specialist employed by, say, SAP who has been seconded to the BND (Bundesnachrichtendienst, Germany’s NSA) flees to Iceland. Holed up at the Reijkjavik Hilton he leaks classified documents to the Swiss Newspaper “Neue Zürcher Zeitung” which, if proven to be genuine, uncover a huge digital spying operation conducted by the German secret service targeting, among other, not only the entire US population, plus that of Canada, Australia, and rogue nations such as Ireland and the UK, but also US embassies and consulate generals in Germany.  Among other they show in detail how a micro-chip was implanted in a Hamburger eaten by Barack Obama at a state dinner with Angela Merkel. (Do they serve Hamburgers on those occasions? Seems like I’m getting carried away here, but never mind, you get the point.) That microchop then recorded a private conversation between Mr. Obama and Wladimir Putin in which Obama referred to the Germans as “Fritzs and Krauts.” No, hang on, I got it wrong again: Angela ate the microchip, accidentally, and she, in a convesration with Putin, referred to the US as a rogue state. Somewhere along that line.

Meanwhile, from Iceland Gerhard Bauden flees to Canada from where he plans to seek asylum in, hmm, Taiwan?, Indonesia? – whatever; because the German authorites have revoked his passport he is eventually stuck in the Montréal airport transit zone.

When notoriously patriotic politicians and Bible Belt inhabitants in the US get a bit worked up about the incidient and demand explanations from Germany, the German authorities respond that they’ve handed over the case to the BND to validate the accusations leveled against the BND; we can skip over the detail concerning further reactions sparked in certain rogue countries such as, see above.

What’s more important is that the German authorities now issue a friendly request to their Canadian ally to extradite Mr. Bauden and send him back to German, obviously so that he can help the BND validate the documents that he stole from the BND.

You work out the rest of that story.


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